SEPTEMBER 2005

Queen Victoria is back and she is amused!  This time she’s not taking HeRself  …or anything seriously. This story follows Queen Victoria’s LAST LIFE SCRIPTto right the wrongs of the previous lifetime as the reigning monarch of the British Empire.  She ruled England for nearly 64 years and had a lot of opportunity to screw things up.  Which she did!  And now the Gratefully Dead have a plan to fix that! 

This is a RAGGAMUFFIN BRAKE FAST DREADFULLY SERIAL MAZEfor the Extra-Bright-Extra-Breit (XBXB’s) that you’ve stumbled into on your way to something else that might have been a bit boring and stuffy.  We invite you to Queen Victoria's Fantasy Fact Format Filmed for Fun, a bit of the really juicy, spicy Queen Victoria that she hid behind the skirts of stiff Victorian prudery.  The upholding of Christian values was necessary for political purposes to solidify the hold of the German House of Hanover on the British Royal Throne. Those Hanoverians (changed the name to the House of Windsor to sound a bit more British) were good at placing a cuckoo in the nest to take power.  They are at it again to re-establish the lineage of Edward VIII (David Darling).  He was too smart and independent for those who controlled the power in England so his less intelligent and more malleable brother, George, became King of England instead.  Meanwhile the Royals are in and out of this and that bed, Princess Diana died in such a drama, Prince Charles was recorded for all to hear wanting to spend a lifetime as…..oh, you know that history.  To some English folks in the UK it’s a big scandal.  And that’s where we’ll begin.

Queen Victoria wished for long legs in the kaballahed LAST LIFE SCRIPT.  She did not want to be a short-legged, dumpy Hanoverian this time around.  She wanted a sound and aware pair of female twins with the bodies of VENUS and the brains of GENIUS.  HeR didn’t want to be reborn in a gilded Victorian cage.  She wanted to be free to travel the world with all its modern amenities and experiences.  This time she would be able to play openly and joyfully without concern for what moralistic, judgmental “Victorian” people might say. And she could say and do what was right and not just what was politically expedient.

We, B.A.CH. and B.A.SHO, have had a lot of fun, done a lot of hilarious things, riotous escapades, “virgin births,” going from poor to down-and-out in Jamaica and Washington D.C. to posh villas, sexy sports cars, and yachts, and then experiencing life as bag ladies on the streets of Canterbury, Amsterdam, Wuppertal and a few months in a Portuguese prison!  So maybe you would like to come with us on HeR adventure!  You might discover the part you played in Queen Victoria’s unfolding story and when we begin shooting the film you can appear as yourself.  Some plum roles remain unfilled.  We haven’t yet found three of her children,  or Alfred Lord Tennyson, or Gladstone, and many more.  You’ll want to read along so you can play along with the cast of millions and maybe even find yourself! 

We’re putting this on the Internet so there’ll be no trees lost because of this story and you’ll get a surprising peek at the world of Victoria then and now.  You’ll know something about Victoria even the professors of English history don’t know.  (Oh, they’ll probably be secretly reading about it, too.  You never know about those lovely pedagogues.) Just surf in and keep yourself abreast of the wacky, wonderful world of HeR Majesty, Queen Victoria: HeRstory Continued. 

The Gratefully Dead (G.D.’s) strongly back the Futuristic Film Firma who are directing and producing HeRstory about Prince Charlie’s Aunties, the British Royal Pretenders in Stereo.  They plan to restore natural ecological balance and end the silly bickering and fighting about boundaries and resources.  If the would-be destructive people don’t shape up, the Cosmic Vacuum Cleaner will suck them up into the Great Nothingness.  No more dirt in Earth’s carpet!

Just like “Jill” Livingston Seagull trying to fly higher and faster than all the others, the twins often fell flat on their face such as when one of them had to get into the US Social System and live in the slums of D.C. as an unmarried mum in 1959.  Maybe you knew one of them in Spain or Canterbury or Haarlem.  It’s hard to predict what’s going to be in the Queen Victoria: HeRstory Continued web site.  You’ll want to take a peek occasionally….or often.  You’ll have great material to have interesting conversations with your friends — better than talking about the soap operas.  Those are OK for pretending about life, but these Royal Pretensions are “real!”  So don’t miss your chance to find out how the Royal Pretenders in Stereo met Hari in Lebanon and followed him to Libya, helped him become rich, how she left him after 22 years and how she ran a crisis centre for homeless people in Canterbury, Washington D.C., and Wuppertal, and lived on the street or in the potting shed of the son of Pip.  He gave the ROYAL BASTARDS the opportunity to take over Pat’s Squatt at Union Street next to the woman who said of them, “Disgustin’ ain’t it.” This crisis centre came to the attention of the authorities because HeR gathered the worst and most infamous of the young “criminals” in the area.  The two Kevs had spent more time inside prison than outside.  HeR had them and others running around like the ghost of Charles Dickens standing up for beggars, working out HeR karma by experimenting personally with alternative, holistic medicines and ways of being. 

So put aside your Calculating Mind with its scepticism and cynicism and BE OPEN to the strong magic that the G.D.s have in store for you.  We already have boxes of stuff waiting for your fun and laughter to help you transcend the ordinary.  There’s absolutely NO RISK on your part with this Lifetime 100% "Money-Back Guarantee."  What we mean is, we want you to enjoy your laugh-in without feeling you might "get taken." After all, we one day will change the way the world is run and we prefer you to be on our side.  This is a very responsible position and our reputation is on the line.  So we wish for you to enjoy this page today... read it, laugh, learn, tell your friends about it.

It’s great fun.  Do you want to come along?  Queen Victoria: HeRstory Continued will be a classic of pulp fiction without the pulp and without the fiction.  Now is the time for a new look at life and love and especially the Royals.  You’ll be a witness to history past, present, and future and you are there!  We’ll help you laugh at life, the Way Things Are, yourself, at us, at fossilised minds and clogged smarteries!  Queen Victoria: HeRstory Continued has a different message this time that will knock your socks off and make you rock and roll with laughter.  So be sure that you’ve washed between the toes and behind the ears and come soar with us and White Eagles Soaring.  

All rights reserved.  © 2001,  Allen Aslan Heart