talltales
Attorney
General John Ashcroft visited an elementary school to
give a civics presentation. After he finished, he
asked the young children, "Are there any
questions?"
Bobby
raised his hand and said, "I have three
questions. During the 911 attack, how could such a
big commercial airliner make such a small hole in the
Pentagon building? If Sadam Hussein was so bad, why was
he not taken from power during the Gulf War? And, are you
using the Patriot Act to limit civil liberties?
Just
then, the bell rang and the teacher announced it was
recess. Half an hour later, the children
returned. Ashcroft said, "Now, let's start
where we left off. Are there any more
questions?"
A
girl raised her hand and asked, "Is it really legal
to hold suspected terrorists without letting them talk to
attorneys? Why did the recess bell go off ten
minutes early? And where is Bobby?
Improve your english ya
wlad!!
?
Chinese ?ENGLISH
Italian, French and
Chinese men went for a job interview in England.
Before the
interview, they were told that they must compose a
sentence in English with three main words: green, pink and yellow.
The Italian was first: "I wake up in the
morning. I see the yellow sun.
I see the green grass and I think to myself, I
hope it will be a pink day."
The French was next: " I wake up in the morning, I
eat a yellow banana, a green pepper and in the
evening I watch the pink panther on TV.
Last was the Chinese: "I wake up in the morning,
I hear the phone "green green", I "pink" up the phone and
I say "Yellow. !!!!!!!!!!!!
thank you Nachoua
The August 9, 2003 edition of the
Egyptian weekly Al-Ahram Al-Arabi featured an
interview with Dr. Nabil Hilmi, Dean of the
Faculty of Law at the University of Al-Zaqaziq
who, together with a group of Egyptian expatriates in
Switzerland, is preparing an enormous lawsuit against
"all the Jews of the world." The following are
excerpts from the interview:
Dr. Hilmi: "… Since the Jews
make various demands of the Arabs and the world, and
claim rights that they base on historical and religious
sources, a group of Egyptians in Switzerland has opened
the case of the so-called 'great exodus of the Jews from
Pharaonic Egypt.' At that time, they stole from the
Pharaonic Egyptians gold, jewelry, cooking utensils,
silver ornaments, clothing, and more, leaving Egypt in
the middle of the night with all this wealth, which today
is priceless."
Question: "What will the group
of Egyptians in Switzerland do about this issue?"
Hilmi: "Dr. Gamil Yaken, vice
president of the Egyptian community in Switzerland, came
to Egypt to collect information. We set up a legal team
to prepare the necessary legal confrontation aimed at
restoring what the Jews stole a long time ago, to which
the statute of limitations cannot possibly apply.
Furthermore, [the theft] is based on their holy book, the
same source on which they relied when they invaded other
peoples…
"The Egyptian Pharaoh was surprised one day to
discover thousands of Egyptian women crying under the
palace balcony, asking for help and complaining that the
Jews stole their clothing and jewels, in the greatest
collective fraud history has ever known.
"The theft was not limited to gold alone. The
thieves stole everything imaginable. They emptied the
Egyptian homes of cooking utensils. One of the women
approached Pharaoh, her eyes downcast, and said that her
Jewish neighbor who lived in the house on the right of
her house had come to her and asked to borrow her gold
items, claiming she had been invited to a wedding…
The Jewish neighbor took [the items] and promised to
return them the next day. A few minutes later, the
neighbor to the left knocked on the door and asked to
borrow the cooking utensils, because she was having
guests for dinner. Using this same deceitful system, they
took possession of all the cooking utensils…"
Question: "It is clear why they
stole the gold, but why the cooking utensils?"
Hilmi: "Taking posession of the
gold was understandable. This is clear theft of a host
country's resources and treasure, something that fits the
morals and character of the Jews. Yet what was not clear
to the Egyptian women were the reasons for stealing the
cooking utensils, when other things may have been of
greater value. However, one of the Egyptian priets said
that this had been the Jews' twisted way throughout
history; they seek to cause a minor problem connected
with the needs of everyday life so as to occupy people
with these matters and prevent them from pursuing them to
get back the stolen gold...
"A police investigation revealed that Moses and
Aaron, peace be upon them, understood that it was
impossible to live in Egypt, despite its pleasures and
even though the Egyptians included them in every
activity, due to the Jews' perverse nature, to which the
Egyptians had reconciled themselves, though with obvious
unwillingness. Therefore, an order was issued by the
Jewish rabbis to flee the country, and that the exodus
should be secret and under cover of darkness and with the
largest possible amount of loot. The code word was 'At
midnight.' In addition, the Jewish women were told to
steal the gold and cooking utensils of the Egyptian
women, and that is what happened."
Question: "Did they leave
individually or as a group?"
Hilmi: "They left in a convoy of
600,000, that is, about 120,000 families. There were a
few wagons in the convoy, and a long line of donkeys
loaded with the stolen goods… They crossed the
desert in the heart of Sinai, in an attempt to confuse
Pharaoh's army, which was on their trail… Later they
rested and began to count the stolen gold, and discovered
that it reached 300,000 kg of gold."
Question: "But the Jews can cast
doubt on this story with their usual methods. What is the
religious evidence you said is in the Torah?"
Hilmi:"Naturally, the Jews cast
doubt on this story because that is in their interest.
But the answer would be that the story is based on what
is written in the Torah. It can be found in Exodus,
[Chapter] 35, verses 12 through 36…"
Question: "So what arguments can
be made in support of getting back our stolen gold?"
Hilmi: "There are two types
of claims, one religious and the other legal. From a
religious standpoint, all monotheistic religions have
called not to steal… It is also in the Ten
Commandments, which the Jews were ordered [to observe].
Therefore, they have a basic religious obligation to
return what was stolen, if it exists.
"From a legal standpoint, fleeing with the
Egyptians' goods could be for the purpose of borrowing or
for the purpose of stealing. If it is for the purpose of
borrowing, legally it has a temporary dimension, not a
permanent dimension, and therefore they must return [the
gold], with interest, to its owners.
"On the other hand, if the Jews took the goods
from the Egyptians not for the purpose of borrowing it
but to keep them for themselves, by legal norms this is
theft, and therefore they must return the stolen goods to
their owners, in addition to the interest for its use
over the entire period of the theft."
Question: "What do you think is
the value of the gold, silver, and clothing that was
stolen, and how do you calculate their value today?"
Hilmi: "If we assume that
the weight of what was stolen was one ton, [its worth]
doubled every 20 years, even if the annual interest is
only 5%. In one ton of gold is 700 kg of pure gold –
and we must remember that what was stolen was jewelry,
that is, alloyed with copper. Hence, after 1,000 years,
it would be worth 1,125,898,240 million tons, which
equals 1,125,898 billion tons for 1,000 years. In other
words, 1,125 trillion tons of gold, that is, a million
multiplied by a million tons of gold. This is for one
stolen ton. The stolen gold is estimated at 300 tons, and
it was not stolen for 1,000 years, but for 5,758 years,
by the Jewish reckoning. Therefore, the debt is very
large…
"The value must be calculated precisely in
accordance with the information collected, and afterward
a lawsuit must be filed against all the Jews of the
world, and against the Jews of Israel in particular, so
they will repay the Egyptians the debt that appears in
the Torah."
Question: "Is a compromise
solution possible?"
Hilmi: "There may be a
compromise solution. The debt can be rescheduled over
1,000 years, with the addition of the cumulative interest
during that period."
LITTLE JOHNNY STRIKES AGAIN
A high school teacher in Kentucky asked her
students to use the word "fascinate" in a
sentence.
Molly said, "My family went to my Granddad's farm,
and we saw all his pet sheep. It was fascinating."
The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you
to use the word "fascinate".
Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to
see Rock City andI was fascinated."The teacher said,
"Well, that was good, Sally, but I want the word
"fascinate".
Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated
because Little Johnny was noted for his bad
language. She finally decided there was no way he
could damage the word "fascinate", so she
called on him.Johnny said, "My cousin's wife has a
sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big, she
can only fasten eight."
The teacher cried......
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