THE HANDSTAND

JANUARY 2003

"We'll take our religion like the Bahai guys one step forward and make
another book be born respecting all people.  Listen Tom, my good friend and
sort of like an almost brother-cousin, Johnny "The Bap" will be the secular
king and I'll be like the son of God showing the way to the light.  All the
rest of you guys make sure you marry and if your wives have kids within
three years - you marry them again - and then it can be said all your
children like me were born of a virgin so perpetuating our Essene beliefs.
Now we got to have a peg to make our reforms hang on and catch.  Judas make
sure I have two super tough zealots like that Barabbas dude hanging by my
sides because even with broken legs they'll still be able to get me out of
the tomb.  Now make dead sure their garments are doused with the antidote so
later I can drink it to get rid of the sleeping poison in my system I took
before they started crucifying me - making the Gestapo, the self haters and
the phony temple leaders think I was coping out!  See?  They won't break the
legs of a dead man.  Ever see a dead man walk?  And then, we three from
inside will push the big rock aside and no guards will be around to see this
because silver pieces will render them dumb and blind. I only went along
with the fools on resurrection so they wouldn't stop my truth but once I had
gotten to the point the people believed me and instead had not fallen on my
head out of bed over all the parables I said - I would have proposed
reincarnation to make a better world and had cleared away their bullshit
like I did when I flipped out in the temple where the greedy bastards had
made a bank and that's why I say those who glean moneys to elevate their
self-worth upon the backs of "suffer the poor" - they will wallow in their
shit till hell freezes - and all those so-called religions that keep people
in line with fear will die!  No, don't fear!  I didn't mean to sound like a
second coming of a Fourth Reich that followed the Third which followed the
Second one out of Rome from those who bastardized my honest intentions for
money and always hung around the powerful making little children suffer!  Do
you understand?  How do I make the dead see?" Christ said angrily as all the
disciples were giving Him the Burywater stare: mouths gaping as a frown
furrowed on their brows ....

    If Tom didn't have Christ's thoughts talking to him, he most likely
would have given up trying to find Him in upstate New York near
Northshredder Township beside the Endrun River so He could have tried to
save the world again but first Tom would suggest to The Savior to throw out
all the haters and hypocrites who despised humanity and most of all
themselves - being devoured by the great stain on their souls and refuse
their donations for salvation and throw the bastards out!
    Why didn't The Lord know the creeps who took over his way calling it
"Our thing" would kill off all His brothers and sisters and even distant
relatives to ensure they would be safe from any challenges? Tom thought and
then he decided he would become one of the so called president's crusaders
and help destroy uncivilized people who looked different from all the
dictator's followers.
    Tom began to sing "Onward Christian Soldiers" to the darkness just
beyond his high beams.   

Author: Jerry Vilhotti.©December 2002
Illustrations: George Grosz.