FEBRUARY 2004

An American, a Brit and an Iraqi are in a bar one night having a beer.

The Yankee drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In the States our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink from the same one twice."

The Brit obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Britain we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either."

The Iraqi, cool as a cucumber, picks up his beer and drinks it, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the American and the Brit.  He says "In Baghdad we have so many Americans and Brits that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice."
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This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. So remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less makes your life miserable. A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her boyfriend. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty and full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?" "We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!" "Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, whatcha doing when you get there?" "We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope." "That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome. "It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in oneof Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. "Well," muttered the hairdresser, "That's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope." "Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me." "Oh, really! What'd he say?" "He said, 'Where'd you get the shitty hairdo?'
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[A prayer heard in Iraq!]  May the fleas of a thousand Iraqi camels infest the butts of the soldiers of the American army, and may their arms be too short to scratch.

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SAID TO BE A TRUE STORY
NAKED CITY

"SPOKANE, Wash. -- [AP] Three men who went streaking
through a Denny's restaurant were chilled and chagrined when
they spotted a thief drive off in their getaway car, their clothes
inside. Naked in the 20-degree weather, the three young men
huddled behind cars in a parking lot until police arrived. 'I don't
think they were hiding. I think they were just concealing
themselves,' police spokesman Dick Cottam said. The three
entered the restaurant before daybreak Wednesday, wearing
only shoes and hats. They left their car running so they could
make a quick escape. But the streakers watched through the
windows as a man who had been eating inside the restaurant
drove off in their car. No charges were brought against the
streakers. 'I think it was just three kids who decided to fool
around,' Cottam said, adding, 'We always tell people to not
leave their car running.'
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