FEBRUARY-MARCH 2008

who is They in Da theY saY...}

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hE climbs a tree...

n’ scrapes his knee...

his clothEs have got a tear...

hE waltzes on his way to special tribunal...

n’ whistles on da stair...

and underneath his sacred hat...

curly coloured hair...

we even heard his singing in the God boX...

always late for prayer...

but his penitence is real...

always late for everything...

except for every meal...

i hate to have to say it...

but i very firmly feel...

T’S not an asset to the brethren...

i'd like to say a word...

in his behalf...

FucK...

hE makes me laugh...

many a thing you know you'd like to tell him...

many a thing hE ought to understand...

but how do you make him stay...

and listen to all you say...

how do you keep a wave upon dE sand...

how do you solve a quandary like Da TezZ MaN...

how do you catch a cloud and pin it down...

how do you find a word that means...

TezZ...

a flibbertijibbeT...

a will o' thE wisp...

UnSanity...

a clown...

whEn with him i'm confused...

out of focus...

&...

bemused...

never know exactly whEre i am...

unpredictable as weathEr...

as flighty as a feathEr...

hE's a darling...

hE's a demon...

hE's a lamb...

hE'd out pester any pest...

drive a hornet from its nest...

hE could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl...

hE is gentle...

hE is wild...

hE's a riddle...

hE's a child...

hE's a hEadachE...

hE's an angel...

hE's a boy...

how do you solve a problem like...

Da Sp@cE MaN...

how do you hold a moonbeam in your hand...

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Sp@cE

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The Times Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense

'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who
Has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was,
Since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the
Worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
Than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in
Charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
Overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
Charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended
From school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for
Reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
Job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly
Children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental
Consent to administer sun lotion or an Elastoplast to a student; but
Could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to
Have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became
Contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better
Treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you
Couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the
Burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
Realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in
Her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his
Wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now,
Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If
You still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do
Nothing.'
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