Telling tall tales...Ta athas
orm
SHORT TAIL~~~ FROM A
FOREIGN FRIEND WHO
HAD READ ONE OLD PAMPHLET FROM bORD fAILTE....
An Irish/American congressman,
touring Ireland with two friends, a Muslim Imam and
a Hindu holy man, had his car breakdown in a remote area
late one evening. The congressman asked a local farmer if
they could shelter for the night.
The farmer said "There might be a problem; you see,
I only have room for two to sleep, one
of you must sleep in the barn." "No
problem," spoke the Imam, "My people are
originally desert people and I am humble enough to sleep
in the barn for an evening." With that he
departed to
the barn and the others bedded down for the night.
Moments later a knock was heard at the door; the farmer
opened the door, there stood the
Imam,. "What's wrong?" asked the farmer.
He replied, "I am grateful to you, but I can't sleep
in the barn. There is a pig in the barn and my
faith believes that it is an unclean animal."
His Hindu friend agrees to swap places with him.
But a few minutes later the same scene reoccurs.
There is a knock on the door, "What's wrong,
now?" the farmer asks. The Hindu
holy man replies, "I too am grateful to you for
helping us out but there is a cow in the barn and
in my country cows are considered sacred. I can't sleep
on holy ground!"
Well, that leaves only the congressman to make the
change. He grumbled and complained, but went out to the
barn. Moments later there was another knock on the
farmer's door.
Frustrated and tired, the farmer opens the door, and
there stood the pig and the cow! A note
tied round one horn of the cow said “No problem!
Take them inside, it will be just like the
old times when I left home.”
..............................................................................................................Raja
Mattar
There was an old man from Nablus
His prophecies were certainly dubious
But, by an uprooted tree
He said, "Dubya I see!"
And started to laugh at the obvious
Then, up spoke a lady from Hebron,
"I am the one with the sabre on!
So she brandished the blade
And the Knesset was laid,
Thereafter she dubbed herself "matron"
Miniature
Books in the English language, Or Books
of Few Words.
George W. Bush: Books I Have Read
Yasser Arafat: The Art of Negotiation. Ariel Sharon: What
I Love about Arafat
The Arab League: Our Plan for an Independent Palestine
King Fahed: Democratic Institutions in Saudi
Arabia
Saddam Hussain: How to Make Friends and
Influence People
Bashar Assad : How I Became President. George W. Bush:
How I Became President
Husni Mubarak: The ABC of Military Strategy
George W. Bush: The Art of Clear Thinking.
Usama bin Laden: What I Admire in Western culture
Edward Said :What I Love about the Oslo Agreement
Ariel Sharon: My Human Rights
Record
Shimon Peres: Why I Won the Nobel Prize for Peace
Hamid Karazai: My Struggle for an Independent
Afghanistan
George W Bush: For a Dynamic U.S. Foreign Policy
Bill Clinton: Presidential Morality
Colin Powell: George W. Bush, a Study in
Leadership
Kofi Annan: Resisting U.S. Influence at the U.N
. Kofi Annan: Investigating War Crimes by Israel
Arthur Andersen: Ethics and the Auditing Profession
Tony Blair Independence in Foreign Policy.
Donald Rumsfeld: Building Bridges to Islam - John
Ashcroft: Defending the Constitution
Ehud Barak: Implementing U.N. Resolutions
Dick Cheney My Struggle Against Corporate Fraud
Ariel Sharon: Israel's Commitment to the
Geneva Convention
Pope John Paul ;The Impressions that George W. Bush Left
with Me.
...................................................................................
Raja G. Mattar
"Hey, I overheard a Rabbi saying he wanted the
Knesset to rule the execution of all men
refusing to serve in the Israel Defence Forces"
"Does he want them to execute all the Orthodox Jews
then?!"
Tragedy and Great
Loss President Bush is visiting a
school. In one class, he asks the
students if anyone can give him an example of a
"tragedy".
One little boy stands up and offers "If my best
friend who lives next door was playing in the
street when a car came along and killed him, that would
be a tragedy."
"No," Bush says, "That would
be an ACCIDENT."
A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying
fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone
involved, that would be a tragedy."
"I'm afraid not," explains Bush. "That is
what we would call a GREAT LOSS."
The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer.
"What?" asks Bush,
"Isn't there any one here who can give me an example
of a tragedy?"
Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid
voice, he says: "If an airplane carrying the
Bush Family were blown up by a bomb, that would be a
tragedy."
"Wonderful!" Bush beams. "Marvelous! And
can you tell me, WHY that would be a tragedy?"
"Well," says the boy,
"because it wouldn't be an accident, and it
certainly would not be a
great loss!"
...............................................................................................Forwarded by
Ron Bishop
Oslo Agreement to
the Palestinians
You are
going to have 22% of the 100% of the
which was originally yours.
Barak's "Generous" offer
to the Palestinians:
We
are going to give you 80% of 22% of 100%
of the land which was originally yours.
Sharon's "Peace" plan to
the Palestinians:
We are
going to give you 42% of 80% of 22%
of 100% of the land which was originally yours,
and this 42% will remain under continuous curfew.
American Christian Zionists to the
Palestinians:
We are
asking Sharon to give you 0% of
42% of
80% of 22% of 100% of the land which was
originally yours.
Bush's "Peace"
plan to the Palestinians:
I trust
Sharon's judgment, since he is a 'man
of peace,' but where the hell is Palestine?
Blair's "Peace" plan to
the Palestinians:
We started
this whole mess. But right now I
go along with Bush's extraordinary "vision."
.....................................................................Raja
Mattar
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